APRIL FOOLS! ... BOSTON/South Boston - According to some guy on the street, a bunch of white local and state politicians were arrested in a lightning dawn raid near the corner of L St. and E. Broadway by elements of the Federal Secret Interrogation while on their way home from an all-night bender at the taxpayers' expense.

"They was just walkin' down the street from McBozo's Pub in Southie like wicked trashed and then all these big ladies with FSI on their jackets and mirror shades like totally beat 'em down, yellin' at 'em about how they was under arrest for takin' bribes from corporations and givin' civil service jobs to all their dipstick cousins," the guy told Open Media Boston.

BOSTON - In a surprise move, OmniMegaCorp of New York and Ulan Bator - a leisure service of the Bank of Insubtantia - proclaimed its hostile takeover of Open Media Boston at an early morning press conference in a bunker in an undisclosed location.



OmniMegaCorp Chairman Translation Yclept set a brisk agenda for his first day in charge of the once-feisty weekly news publication. Over a bowl of the company's much-feared Weevilz'n'Bitz breakfast slurry, his first order of business was to crush all opposition.